Frühlingszeit
I’m going to try to get a job. -_- I’m also going to try some online classes for the summer and see how that works out. I need to try to finish MGC asap.Why do I try so hard and get violently pushed back down?
I’m so tired of being the good person, always caring about others before me and then get treated like dirt. I worry way to much about how some else is before I worry about myself. I don’t know that’s just how I am. Ok, so the drill till my head explosion.
I get home after going to the 4-H office, post office and Wal-Mart. I get home and ask Rachel to go with me to mums house so I can get my iPod, crap I forgot a stupid belt (*sighs* oh well). I had to bribe her with buying her McDonalds food to get her out of the house. We go to mums so I can get my iPod and books that I have to read for classes next week. We leave and go to McDonalds and Rachel is playing with my iPod and stuff, blasting music. *fast forward* We get to the high school after eating and getting ready for the game. I have to run around help random band people fix their uniforms and such. I help Ashley carry the box of plumes across the street to the old high school track. The middle and high school bands practice while dodging water sprinklers.
So, Ashley and I carry that heavy box into the stands, ahead of everyone else. *fast forward some* I see some of the middle school band kids and they stress me out after they start of some lame drama. This girl got mad at me because I wouldn’t get her a coke and another girl because I wouldn’t tell Mr. Clardy to let them play a certain song. Then they get all gansta attitude up on me. But before that I had to go to the practice field to look for Peggy’s flip folder of music, it wasn’t there, great joy of fun!
I help take pictures for Kayla, help her get down and off the podium. After half-time, I helped Mrs. Paula with food concessions and I got a free coke (it makes me hyper). It didn’t really become stressful until after the game was over. Rachel and I leave to go to the huddle house. We arrive in the parking lot and come to find out that there is no where to park. So, I go to park in the parking lot by the church with the basketball goals, Carli parked there as well. So Rachel immediately gets out and talks to Lena, she borrows my brush. Rachel was so in a hurry to get there, (I hate being rushed) so I obsessively lock the door behind me and Rachel’s door. For some reason, I put the windows up I have no idea why. I walk down the parking lot and then realize that I had locked the keys in the car. There I go caring for others before myself.
I call up mum on her cell and tell her what happened that I left my keys in the car, this is the first time that I had did this. Luckily, I put the extra two keys in the drawer beside the refrigerator. I supposedly woke her and she drove down there to give me the keys, I guess she told her boyfriend about it all because later he texts me and says, “Come sunday, a for sale sign is going on that car! no joke…..”. So mum gets there and she calls me, I walk out the door to go see her to get the keys. I walk/run over to the car. I stopped on the sidewalk and prayed to God to please let these keys work and some other stuff. I put it in and it worked! I was so happy, some of the pressure felt lifted off of me but only for that short pause of praise.
Mum decides to stay at the Huddle House because she’s hungry. The people at our table had already ordered so she didn’t get to eat; she sat there gossiping like a high school girl. She got mad at me and raised her voice inside the restaurant and said that she was going to sell my car, not give me any more gas money, cut off my phone, make me quit school, pay back my financial aid money and threatened to send me to jail if I didn’t. She said some other stuff to. I so badly wanted to scream. I raised my voice a bit at her and I guess I smarted off a few times but only because she had really annoyed me with the stuff she said. So then she starts saying stuff about me in front of everyone. She says, “God, you’re so ugly. You look just like your daddy. You need to go wash your face, it’s so greasy and your hair, too. You’re a freak.” She didn’t say it all at the same time. Then she kept saying other stuff, nasty stuff to Carli’s twelve year old brother. She thinks I’m not the right way and thinks that because I don’t have a girlfriend that I’m not right in the head. I don’t have much time for anything right now in my life.
I start texting people like Jessie and Lindsay and Kayla, to try to escape the humility that my mum is saying about me in front of everyone. I just keep staring at my phone and my face getting red. I wanted to cry so badly right there and then. It was not right, in my opinion, for my mother to sit there and say all this stuff in front of people she just met and then call me names and talk about me rudely in front of me. I felt like falling off the side of the world or being thrown into a vacuum and never coming out. I just didn’t want to be me at the moment, I was so hurt broken. I don’t know what to think. I felt bad because I started ignoring Carli because she made a joke about Randy, her brother. Saying oh “He’s going to marry Rachel.” Then my mum goes around saying no, “He’s probably going to end up marrying, Gary.” I give her a dirty look and I couldn’t help it my face got red, I wanted to scream. Mum told me earlier that she would get me arrested for yelling or something in a public place.
My mum always thinks the worst of me, always. I wanted to cry right there and then, I wish that I could’ve just exploded or spontaneously combust. I wanted to knock her out of the booth but I kept myself contained and I apologized to Carli afterwords when mum left. I was so stressed out from the days events to the football game to this and that and then mum just put the cherry on top for making my day worse. I feel so unsure about my future now.
I wish I were a vapor, this reminds me of that bible verse, James 4:14 “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” I wish I were that vapor so I could escape everyone’s problems. I try way to much and do to much for to many people. Sometimes I wish I could just give up and let someone else run my show (life). I’m just a puppet, wishing I knew who was pulling my strings from above.
Snowboarding, Oh The Joy…
I’m on ski trip with my church in Davis, West Virginia at the Timberline Four Seasons Ski Resort and it’s cool. I was so surprised that I made it on the trip all the way up here. It took us about 13-15 hours on a charter bus. It sucked so much. I went down maybe three trails, well more like three times until I fell so hard that I spun my feet around and popped my knee and ankle and caused my right leg to basically hurt the rest of the day, so I stopped snowboarding.
It was cool at first though, honestly, not really. I wanted to give up right after I put my strapping on my right foot. I felt so emo because it was so hard for me at first. Ehh, I hated it. It was cool though to glide above the snow and leave a trail but after that short while the ground because my best friend, haha. So after that I just gave up for the rest of the day and took it easy on my leg and played in the snow with Kayla C., Kayla H., Lindsey, and Sarah. haha. It was fun, lol. We threw snow at each other and made snowmen and snow creatures, snowballs and anything really that you could think of lol.
Then for dinner later that day the service upstairs in the restaurant sucked so bad. We got in there at 6:30 and well I didn’t get my food until about 8:05. I didn’t get my order until about 8:00. I don’t even want to talk about that anymore. Errr. The worship service was really cool and neat though despite my horrible 2 hour food wait and horrible service.
It’s 20 degrees out here now and it’s snowing and really cold, der. I should upload pictures once I get home, just so I can have them all on here at the same time. lol. Anyways.
So things have changed…
I’m now typing my blogs on this new program on Mac OSX 10.5 called MarsEdit. It’s really neat though I like it. I saw it somewhere on this website when I was updating the tech team blog. A lot has been going on recently and I need to start blogging my thoughts again, like I used to do back in the middle school days. haha. I’m so excited for this week though because I’m going to on the Ski Trip with my church to West Virginia! Woot, I’m going to try snowboarding. I have no idea how to snowboard really but Shirley and I will find out though. I’m anxious for it other than that I’ve been so busy this year since it’s being my last year in high school.
I’m passing all of my classes but borderline on my Algebra III class. I’m working on a web app for the iPhone/iPod Touch for my school website. I’ve won second place at Georgia FBLA Region Five competition and get to compete at the state level in Athens around March. I also won first place in the Computers Project for the Southeast District of the state of Georgia, woo. I tried out for Camp Counselor but I didn’t make it, which disappointed me and I haven’t received a phone call to be placed as an alternate so I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be one for this summer. I’ll be a Teen Leader though at Cloverleaf Camp this year! I’m so excited for that because I’ll be able to see and hang out with my friends at camp, that are counselors and the awesome people that I met at Selection Weekend.
I’ve gotten so much closer to God lately, maybe it’s because I’ve been closing myself off from the rest of the world. I dunno to me it seems like I’ve been been slowly killing myself socially to people but I know it’s the total opposite because when I’m around people that I talk to I’m the life of the party so-to-speak. Bleh, it’s just a little confusing at times to think about. I know I’m not ready for life yet, I still haven’t gotten my driver’s license yet so that sucks bum. I haven’t taken the SAT or ACT yet, so I can’t apply for any 4-H Scholarships, which I would probably apply for loads. I just have many pros and cons for my last year of high school. I just hope it gets better and be amazing as ever. =D
Two Days with the Shirley-meister
Haha, the past two days have been awesome. Wednesday, I got to go back to the school. I worked some more on the school website it was great and I had to go to a debate meeting thing in Mr. Murphy’s room. It was cool. Shirley told me when her party and stuff was lol. I was a little confused when she told me what time her birthday party was because she didn’t say if it was going to be P.M. or A.M. but it was P.M. I assumed that she meant A.M. and I said that I didn’t want to get moon burnt.
haha, you just had to be there to get it. But anyways Mr. Murphy wanted me to go get him copies for the debate people. So I walked down the English hall to the Math hall to Frosty’s lair. She got mad when she saw me in there trying to get copies. It scared me a little but it all turned out alright though. lol. So then the debate meeting thing was over and father was waiting outside the door. So we then, walked to Mrs. Vaughn’s room because I had to work on the website some and she wants me to teach her how to do code. Ahhh, that is going to suck because I have no idea how I can teach her how to do that stuff. I mean I learned how to do it by copying other people’s code and testing it out to see if it would work and stuff, since eight grade.
So, that’s going to be fun. I updated all of the files basically. I need to find a program that I can use to get all these high quality picture to be under one hundred kb. Which I have no idea how I’m going to accomplish this. So anyway. We leave the school and go back to the house and I get ready to go to church and wow I’m so glad that I did go.
Shirley, Mindy, and I were all talking and stuff and laughing about stuff and bleh until we left to get in the van to go to Grace Baptist Church for the World of Fire Concert. It was amazing and so much fun. The bands there were The Turning, Rush of Fools, and something else I really don’t remember. Callen and Lennon were dancing and stuff and there was this little kid with a drum stick and he was beating it right along with the band as the music was being played. haha it was so funny. I left watching all the pretty cool lights coming up as they went onto the walls and stuff. I wanted to get some cd’s and stuff after it was over but I didn’t have enough money to. Oh, I told Chloe to tell one of the bands to sing happy birthday to Shirley and they did. haha. It was cool we had the whole place singing Happy Birthday to Shirley.
Shirley’s party was great yesterday. I was acting a little anti-social mainly because I don’t like Jake R. because of reasons. Plus, I don’t know how to swim and I don’t own a swimming suit either. I know it kinda sucks and I wish that I could swim though. I need a swimming suit really badly, too. Today or this weekend PacSun has a sale on swimsuit to get two swimsuits for $60 yeah. I really want one though. Because I don’t own any, which sucks. I didn’t get wet until around the end of the party when people were like hey let’s get Gary wet. So I ran and ran and the most I got wet was on my shoes because I jumped when people threw the water balloons at me. haha. It was fun. JBO and Kevin and Steven and people got high off of helium to make their voice change. It was funny. haha. Oh yeah, Jake C. got hurt at Shirley’s party. He hit his head at the bottom of the pool after he done a flip into it and he just swam into the bottom. His forehead was bleeding and he was a little lightheaded I guess. Because he didn’t really feel safe enough to drive home so he called his dad to come pick him up. Well I guess this concludes this blog entry haha. ^_^
YouTube Widget
Alright I saw this YouTube widget thing on G4 today. It looked pretty cool so I’m going to test it out. I thought it was something that you could add to the computer but I guess not because it gave me this link to a code to add. So here it is. Get great free widgets at Widgetbox!
Encounter Weekend 2007
Wow, there are too many words to describe how the weekend was. It was amazing. I got to spend time with people that I rarely talk to anymore and learn more about them. I got to learn so much more about God and I felt more connected to what was being said this weekend, like from the lessons, the worship, the praise, the lessons, just everything.
I honestly, feel so deeply inside connected, more reconnected to God. It’s just a crazy uncontrollable feeling that is inside. It makes me smile and feel so happy. We stayed up so late each night haha doing crazy stuff like talking, ddr, and walking through the woods, bleh making videos. I dunno what to say really. My weekend was just amazing and I loved every minute of it. My favourite part would have to be when I was helping last night with the band that came by bringing out their boxes and stuff for their instruments.
Not only that but bringing down all of those chairs. Wow, that was a lot of chairs. The 11th grade guys and 12th grade guys had to stay later after church last night to help set up the church for Sunday morning worship service thing, this morning. We had to bring down all of the burgundy chairs, which is quite a bit. Then we needed more so we had to go get some green ones out from the choir room. Luke and I were eavesdropping or more of listening to Andrew’s little story about the third floor of the church. Something about these two eighth grade girls playing sardines, after Wednesday night church, in the big part of the church not the station. So they were on the third floor and this floor the lights never come on, because no one rarely goes up there. They said they saw a person or something on the floor and smelled a strong odor of fish. They saw the apparition and screamed and ran back downstairs. So Andrew said that the church done an exorcism supposedly. Luke was all anxious and stuff and Jonathan was a little bit, he wanted to see the third floor as I wanted to. We go up the stairwell to the third floor and yeah it is creepy. I think I’ve been on that floor before I really don’t remember for sure.
Well overall I recorded two dvd disks of stuff on my camcorder. I also made my personal relationship with God a whole lot stronger. Gah, I wish that it was like a week thing, because I loved it that much. Oh yeah Amo went and Steven got saved! Shirley almost made me cry this morning. Ummm, the band was amazing Jonathan and Lisa. Yeah, I ran out of stuff to say. lol.
Drama…wtf.
I seriously hate people stuff. I hate it how one person says something and then it gets turned around into something so totally different than what the way it was originally said. I am so effin sick of it.
Ok, today. Cierra was talking on her phone, well she was all weekend. I mean she was like practically glued to it, too. She was talking nonstop and texting. We were all getting tired of her talking and I mean everyone. So tonight I asked to hold her phone and then I went to go take her battery out of her phone. She got p/o. I would to if someone done that to me, but still. You don’t have to be all that freakin’ loud blasting your voice at everyone and then expect yourself not to be wrong when your putting yourself in the wrong to begin with, by trying to starting stuff with other people that were innocent in the first place.
She got p/o at me and she still is. Ok, she is a little whore or she seems to be. She bought condoms at the bookstore today. She’s in 9th grade, ok. Wtf does she need to be doing screwing her b/f or whomever she wants to claim to be. No one and she needs to keep her legs closed but I know that can’t happen because her mouth is always running nonstop so in order for her legs to be closed her mouth has to be shut. Which means it’s never going….to happen. I don’t really care. She’s a cool person and all but she has a loud mouth and complains all the time. We have all gotten so sick of it. I hate it, and I hate what she’s been doing this weekend. It sucks.
I think that Alex is mad at me because of what I told her about what these people were saying in the FBLA building thing that we were at when we were walking through the crowd of people. I’m sorry that I said it but she asked me if she heard anyone talking about her I don’t like to lie to my friends, regardless of what has been said. I’m not one to go talk behind my friends’ backs either unlike some people that I know or have been discussed tonight. This weekend has been great but tonight it just sorted all fell apart. Cierra has all these guys going to her room. Now she has two of them in here! IT IS 2 IN THE MORNING…..Gah!
Oh well. I’m seriously tired of everyone’s drama because there are so many people that are at our school just to make drama so they won’t be bored because Eastman sucks that bad. It’s really sad though if you think about it. Making drama happen because there is nothing else to do or talk about. People in my grade are all falling apart are friends are going on the wrong path, falling into the path of sin. It’s completely insane. I hate it. Gah, why can’t these people stay normal.
Tomorrow, is going to be a long ride home because of all this $hit that happened this weekend. I hate it, hate hate hate hate hate hate it. This sounds so middle school-ish but still. It’s life and it sucks like always. Life is always full of tricks and games and if you know how to actually take care of your life and have it going on the right path then your set and staying with and making the greater good. People in Eastman unfortunately don’t see that or not many people there do. If most people actually knew how to use their minds every once in a while it wouldn’t be so bad. Whatever. I can’t change their lives, I hope one day they will see what they done wrong. I bet this blog sounds like a load of crap, too. Oh well, just another error in this life that I’m trying to take on the right path.
Thanksgiving or rather mass extinction of turkeys…
Why is it called Thanksgiving? The majority of people just see it as a day of getting rid of the turkey. I know that may seem rather harsh, but hey mister or missy, lol, it’s the truth. That’s why when your walking in the woods and your expecting to hear that random gobble gobble, but it’s not there. Why!?! Because some random redneck went ahead and killed Mr. Gobbler.
This Thanksgiving I was horrified when I saw the turkey that I was going to eat. Did I eat it? Heck no! Why? Because I saw how it was cooked, in a deep fry cooker pot, outside of course. What made me come to this conclusion of not to eat Mr. Gobbler Turkey? Because when it was done cooking and on the dinner table, I saw with my own two eyes, (yes two not three nor four, but two) that Mr. Turkey Gobbler’s wings were getting cut apart and smashed to be eaten my mother and sister. When I heard the crackling and crunching I literally got scared. I knew then that I couldn’t eat the turkey that looked good to eat.
That image will be stuck in my head now, and I wanted to eat some turkey but not after seeing the poor dead animal get brutally abused after death. Oh well, lol that was a highlight I guess you could say of my holiday.
My Life just sucks
Alright I tried to get my mum to pay for me to go to 4-H Fall Forum today. She was basically like no that is a waste of money and I want to ruin your life. I’m not going to pay for you to go to summer school you better pull up your math grades, etc. I’m like trying to yell at her from the top of the stairs, with only one working ear because she is too sorry of a mother to take her child to the doctor, and she is like blah blah to me. It all started because I said I wanted two piano books and I told her my opinions about the piano vs. the keyboard and she thought that I wanted her to go buy a brand new piano.
She told me that she didn’t like the music that I wanted to play on piano either, which is total bull. Hello, the only type of music that I like to play on piano is classical music or video game music and I wanted The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker piano book and it’s only in Japanese. Then she’s like no that’s crap you don’t need that; it’s a waste of money and I’m not going to support you if you played that. She’s never heard it before either. I tried to tell her that alot of the best music ever is in video games, again she didn’t and still doesn’t believe me. I think that she doesn’t want to accept that her child is growing up and is getting smarter than her at things that she wasn’t good at. Well, she can get over it.
I hated how she thinks that she can tell me what is wrong with the computer when she doesn’t even know what is wrong with it. HELLO WOMAN, your not the one that has saved it and saved you money by saving your freakin’ computer so it didn’t crash. I wish she would just realize that she isn’t all that at everything and admit that I’m right for a chance and that she’s wrong.
When she sees a Sims 2 game she automatically thinks. That is going to fill up my whole computer, oh no he can’t get that. I get it anyway and guess how much it takes up on her hard drive? Not very much maybe 1-2%. She complains that by having multiple Sim games on the computer causes it to slow down drastically. No, it doesn’t she has like literally 5 things that pop up once she turns on the computer so she can talk to people on yahoo and etc.
Gah, anyways….I had to get that off my chest, before I exploded again like I did this afternoon into tears. I’m suppose to go to Fall Forum because I’m on 4-H Tech Team. She doesn’t get that. When your on a team you have an obligation like an oath that you made and you have to keep it and I feel that if I miss it I miss part of being on the team. I don’t want to be like a Walrus loving Hogg. I want to be with my friends and learn something interesting and educational like at any other 4-H event. Sorry to say that my mother thinks that all Fall Forum is just a party weekend and her definition of party is like something off of some X-rated movie. She scares me sometimes and I hate how she thinks. *sighs* oh well. I did have fun playing Sims 2 Nightlife tonight though, I really need to get Open For Business and Pets though.
Oh yeah over the weekend I got Dance Dance Revolution Super Nova and it is loads of fun you should go out right now and buy it for your PS2. ^_^ Enjoy the rest of your Turkey Day week.
